Issue 51: Juggling Parenthood and the Chief of Staff Role
Real-world strategies from real parents in the trenches
Welcome back, aspiring and current Chiefs of Staff 👋🏼
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🤹 How Can You Be A Successful Parent AND Chief Of Staff?
As a Chief of Staff, you’re used to wearing many hats and juggling multiple responsibilities. But add parenthood to the mix, and suddenly you’re not just juggling–you’re doing it while riding a unicycle, on a tightrope, over a pit of flames…
In fact, new research from the U.S. Surgeon General’s report, Parents Under Pressure, finds that 41% of parents say that most days they are so stressed they cannot function.
So when one of our readers asked how to balance the round-the-clock, demanding roles of parenting AND Chief-of-Staffing, I knew this would resonate deeply with our community.
To address this challenge, we turned to our community of experienced Chief of Staff parents, including mothers and fathers. Below they’ve shared their insights, strategies, and hard-won wisdom on this hot topic.
A big THANK YOU to our contributors 💜
As a reminder, you can always submit questions to be answered in future newsletters.
⚖️ Rethinking Work-Life Balance
When we talk about managing our professional and personal lives, the term “work-life balance” often comes up. But many of the Chiefs of Staff we spoke to agree that this concept might be doing us more harm than good.
Lauren Friend, an experienced Chief of Staff and parent, explains, “Balance is defined as ‘an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady.’ I promise you that no parent and no Chief of Staff would ever use that definition to describe their life.”
Charrisse Ifill, a Chief of Staff and mother of three, agrees, “Balance is often seen as the ultimate goal, but it’s really an illusion that can leave us mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted in the pursuit.”
So if balance isn’t the goal, what is? The strategy our Chief of Staff parents consistently pointed to is “integration.”
🔄 What is Work-Life Integration?
Work-life integration means “to bring together or incorporate (parts) into a whole.” Unlike balance, which implies keeping work and personal life separate, integration acknowledges that these areas often overlap, especially in roles like Chief of Staff.
Integration acknowledges that both parenting and being a Chief of Staff require full time commitment. The goal is not to divide yourself between roles, but to find ways to fulfill both simultaneously.
Successfully integrating your work and parenting roles allows for greater flexibility, reduces guilt, encourages presence, and sets realistic expectations. Most importantly, integration recognizes you as a whole person whose experiences in one role can inform the other.
🍼 Recognizing Universal Parenting Challenges
Our contributors emphasized that parenting challenges in demanding roles like Chief of Staff are not gender-specific.
Society often has implicit biases about parenting roles, which can impact how these challenges are perceived and addressed in the workplace. It's important to recognize that all parents, regardless of gender or family structure, face similar struggles in juggling work and family life. This includes same-sex parents, single parents, and other non-traditional family structures.
By acknowledging these universal challenges, workplaces can create more inclusive and supportive environments for all parents in high-pressure roles.
🗂️ Strategies for Successful Work-Life Integration
Previous Ask a Chief of Staff newsletters have addressed burnout prevention and self-management — topics that become even more critical when balancing a Chief of Staff role with parenthood. For Chief of Staff parents, skills like prioritization, boundary-setting, and avoiding overwhelm are essential for successfully integrating professional and parental responsibilities.
Let's explore the key strategies our contributors shared to help them excel in both roles.
🗣️ Communication, Boundaries, and Self-Advocacy
Key strategies:
Schedule regular check-ins with your Principal to discuss workload and work-life balance
Establish clear working hours and communicate your availability
Set expectations for response times outside of work hours
Be transparent about family commitments that may impact your schedule
Implement a daily routine to address urgent matters before ending your workday
Use humor to navigate challenging situations and maintain positive relationships
Be proactive in communicating your changing needs and boundaries
Don't be afraid to advocate for yourself and your family's needs
Recognize that your relationship with your CEO/Principal may evolve, and that’s okay
“Communication is key, letting your CEO know how you're feeling and all you're balancing while remaining dedicated to the role and discussing options/boundaries/priorities.” - Madeline Chickedantz
“Meet with your Principal to communicate and understand what priorities are; if something is urgent, ensure it is clear when to expect something versus just taking on something right away.” - Francesca Roblez
🕰️ Adaptive Time Management
Key strategies:
Implement an early morning routine to get a head start on work or personal tasks
Use time blocking to create clear boundaries between work and personal time
Practice ruthless prioritization, focusing on high-impact work both at home and at work
Prepare for the next day before going to bed
Batch similar tasks together for increased efficiency
Designate specific times for focused, uninterrupted work
Delegate or deprioritize less critical tasks
Leverage remote work opportunities, if they’re available
Adopt flexible scheduling to accommodate both work and family commitments
Be prepared to shift priorities when unexpected situations arise
Recognize that children's needs and routines change rapidly, and be ready to adapt
“Working for a company that's fully remote has allowed me more flexibility to be with my family without sacrificing my productivity. I usually wake up by 5am for a couple hours of uninterrupted me time. I find this helps me maintain more work focus throughout the day. I also can take brief breaks, for instance run upstairs for a quick hug from my daughter or enjoy lunch with my family, which helps me feel connected, then return to work ready to dig in again.” - Madeline Chickedantz
“Be disciplined about processes and efficiency. Focus on the big rocks (high-impact work) both at home and at work. For everything else, either delegate it or deprioritize it.” - Lauren Friend
“I've found that time blocking is helpful, but it's equally important to stay flexible and give myself grace. Setting and sticking to boundaries is crucial, as is taking days off when needed and asking my Principal to help me prioritize the most important tasks.” - Charrisse Ifill
🤝 Building a Support Network
Key strategies:
Build a diverse support network, including family, friends, and professional connections
Consider non-traditional family structures and support systems that work for your situation
Coordinate with a partner to split childcare and work responsibilities, if possible
Seek out a work environment that understands and supports work-life integration
Cultivate a community of peers, mentors, and friends who understand your dual roles
Recognize and address the potential for isolation in both the Chief of Staff role and parenting
Be open about your parenting responsibilities with your team to set realistic expectations
Acknowledge and support all parents, including fathers, in their parenting responsibilities. Remember that assumptions about caregiving roles can lead to misconceptions about a parent's capacity in demanding professional roles
“Surround yourself with a strong community of peers, mentors, and friends. Lean on your tribe and don't go it alone.” - Lauren Friend
“I am very fortunate to work for a company that focuses on people first and understands the importance of family and work-life balance. Both the founder and co-founder are dads themselves!” - Madeline Chickedantz
🧘♀️ Self-Care and Mindset Shifts
Key strategies:
Prioritize “no-hat time” where you step away from all roles and responsibilities
Schedule regular self-care appointments and incorporate physical exercise
Practice mindfulness to increase your capacity to handle stress
Find small moments of peace throughout your day
Take regular days off to recharge, especially after intense work periods
Let go of guilt associated with taking time for yourself
Embrace imperfection and redefine success away from the idea of perfect “balance”
View the skills developed in each role as transferable and mutually beneficial
See your dual roles as setting a positive example for your children
Recognize the parallels between Chief of Staff and parenting roles, both requiring deep emotional intelligence
“Practice mindfulness to increase capacity. This is a habit/practice I wish I had started sooner in life and am just now really focusing on (with the help of an executive coach–best investment ever).” - Lauren Friend
“Both moms and Chiefs of Staff tend to expect a lot of perfection from themselves, but perfect isn't real. It's never going to be perfect, so remember to be as kind with yourself as you would be with your team or your family.” - Claire Podulka
“I've shifted my mindset to work-life juggle and it helped tremendously. Like juggling, what goes up must come down eventually.” - Christina Guerrier
“Mom guilt is always a struggle but I remind myself that I'm working hard for our future and setting an example for my daughter that she can do anything.” - Madeline Chickedantz
📱 Leveraging Technology and Tools
Key strategies:
Task management tools like Todoist or Trello to stay organized and prioritize effectively
Integrated calendar systems (e.g., Google Calendar, Apple Calendar) to manage both work and personal commitments in one place
Communication tools such as Slack, Zoom, or Google Meet for efficient team collaboration and remote work
Wellness and self-care apps like Headspace or Calm for mindfulness and stress management
Project management tools like Asana for team collaboration and task tracking
Digital note-taking tools like Evernote or OneNote to capture ideas and manage information across work and home life
Productivity apps like RescueTime or Forest for time tracking and focus enhancement
Automation tools like IFTTT or Zapier to streamline repetitive tasks in both work and personal life
Household management and family scheduling apps, such as Cozi or OurHome to keep the household on track
“I put my working times on my calendar, with blocks at the beginning and end for “Claire not working yet” and “Claire done working.” In between those times, I am focused and available, and outside those times, I leave my laptop in my office and turn off notifications on my phone.” - Claire Podulka
“My calendar has become a critical integration tool I can’t live without. Rather than maintaining two calendars (one for work, one for home), I’ve combined everything into one. I also intentionally make my family time and personal commitments public. This not only sends an important signal to my team that family is a priority but also serves as a daily reminder for me to never lose sight of what matters most.” - Lauren Friend
“I integrate my personal and work calendar. I have a privacy filter for my personal events. Having it on my work calendar helps me see when I have been leaning too heavily at work vs maintaining my outside work relationships and home life.” - Christina Guerrier
👣 Finding Your Groove in the Parent-Chief of Staff Role
As we've explored, there's no one-size-fits-all approach to balancing the demands of being a Chief of Staff with the joys and challenges of parenthood. The key is to experiment with different strategies and find what works best for your unique situation. What works for one Chief of Staff parent might not work for another, and what works for you today might be obsolete in 3 months (like your toddler’s favorite toy).
Steps to take, right now:
Evaluate Your Current Situation: Take a moment to assess your current work-life integration. What's working? What isn't?
Experiment with Strategies: Choose one or two strategies from this article to implement in the next month. Keep track of what works and what doesn't.
Connect with Peers: Reach out to other Chief of Staff parents in your network or join online communities to share experiences and advice.
Advocate for Change: If your workplace lacks support for working parents, start a conversation about implementing family-friendly policies.
Prioritize Self-Care: Remember, you can't pour from an empty cup. Make self-care a non-negotiable part of your routine.
Parents everywhere, remember that you are awesome✨ We'd love to hear about your experiences and strategies. Share your story or ask questions in the comments below, and let's continue supporting each other in this challenging but rewarding journey.
🎥 Upcoming Events and Workshops:
💻 Virtual Events
September 24th: Lead Outcome-Oriented Meetings and Get Decisions Made
September 26th: Creating Structures for High-Performing Feedback
September 27th: Virtual Coffee Mixer #8!
👋🏼 In-Person Events
October 8th: SF #TechWeek: How a Chief of Staff Scales with their CEO & Startup
As a reminder, events and workshops are free or heavily discounted for all Ask a Chief of Staff community members.
📖 Additional Chief of Staff Related Reads:
Why the Chief of Staff May be the Last Knowledge Worker Standing in the Age of AI
The Founder’s Guide to Hiring and Leveraging a Chief of Staff
Completing the Leadership Puzzle: Why Executives Need a Chief of Staff
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I love the rethinking of the words we use to explain the goals parenting while working outside the home (especially in a very demanding role). This idea of separation of work and personal life has been on my mind a lot lately. I can understand how we may want to compartmentalize to protect our mental health…and in many cases, that may be the right way forward. But this also sets up work to be a place where we might find less meaning (when many of us are trying to do good in the world) and make fewer deep connections.